Tag Archives: Tim Kaine

Mystery Convention Theater

Once again, Steve and Tim talk back to the TV.


TIM: “This year’s election is one of the most critical in our history.”

Has any politician ever said otherwise? “Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for some straight talk: this election won’t make any difference. I’m not even voting, and I’m running for president!” Maybe during that string of pre-Lincoln nobodies in the mid-19th C. (Fillmore, Pierce, Buchanan).

STEVE: What’s funny is the election that didn’t figure to be “critical” turned out to be the most critical of all: 2000. Everything today flows from that one.


TIM: [Re: Daschle] “I recently was fortunate to meet with Pres. Hamid Karzai in Afghanistan. He couldn’t pay his staff’s salaries. He couldn’t even pay to keep the lights on. No, he didn’t have much money. He barely had enough to survive. But when he came out on stage and he was ready to play, people came alive.”


TIM: “Chain of Fools:” Inspired choice, but I think I heard the original. “Five” (vs. “for eight long years / I thought you were my man”).

STEVE: I think they thought they were hearing “Change, Change, Change . . . “


TIM: “I’m Bill Clinton, and I am reporting for boo-tay!”

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How the Veepsters Roll

With the Obama campaign keeping us in high suspense today, let’s take a look at the contenders.

1. JOE BIDEN. Joe Biden? I happen to be a Joe Biden fan. He’s super-smart, has a great sense of humor, and knows foreign countries down to the block level. But if you put him on the ticket, you’ll have to spend valuable time and energy cleaning up after him. And truthfully, he creates a stature gap, because he’s bigger than Obama. Also, the idea of him as Secretary of State is a laugh. He’s not what I would call a diplomat. Funny, though, how the pundits who dismissed his presidential run from the get-go have suddenly discovered his virtues.

2. TIM KAINE. Who? He’s in his first term as governor, which gives him more executive experience than Obama but would create a ticket with less total experience than the Bear’s quarterback duo of Kyle Orton and Rex Grossman. Plus, you couldn’t very easily paint John McCain as out-of-touch because he’s not very familiar with the Internet given that Kaine doesn’t know how to sign up for a text message.

3. EVAN BAYH. I predicted Bayh long ago – and have the witnesses to prove it – but truthfully I didn’t know that he not only voted for the Iraq War, but co-sponsored the authorization. I’m not sure how Obama gets past that one.

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