Tag Archives: Steve Rhodes

End of the Road for Division Street

Dear Readers:

Division Street was an experiment – along with California Faultline in L.A. – by the good folks at NBC Universal. With the launch of new local sites such as NBCChicago.com, the NBC folks have decided to shut down Division Street and Faultline. In turn, I will be increasing my contributions to NBCChicago.com, including material that you might have otherwise found here, and of course you can still read me at The Beachwood Reporter. Thanks for reading me here, and I’ll see you there.

Mystery Presidential Debate Theater #3

Once again, our Mystery Debate Theater team of Tim Willette, Sir Andrew Kingsford, and Steve Rhodes got together to talk back to the TV with the outrage and insight that you’ve grown to love. Andrew brought a Connie’s cheese pizza and a six-pack Tyskie premium lager while Tim reported in via e-mail from his Wicker Park bunker, where he was nursing a knee injury and writing new death metal songs. Julia Gray, Jake Siska and Brian Rhodes contributed from our satellite offices out amongst “the people.” As always, this transcript is edited for clarity, length, comedy and sanity.

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STEVE: This one is likely to be a snooze even if John McCain is desperate and needs a “game-changer.” What can he do, call Bill Ayers on his cell right there on the stage?

BRIAN: I keep hearing McCain needs a “game-changer” in tonight’s debate. Do you think he will choose the thimble instead of the race car?

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TIM: SCHIEFFER: From Hofstra University in Hempstead, New York, I am proud to welcome everyone to the third and final presidential debate of 2008. The first two debates covered foreign policy and domestic policy, respectively. Tonight, both candidates have agreed that they will focus entirely on character attacks and slander.

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TIM: SCHIEFFER: Tonight we present the 49th and final presidential debate. I will divide the next hour and a half into nine minute segments, after which I intend to kill myself. You heard that right: I’m going to blow my brains out.

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STEVE: Hofstra was founded by a lumber magnate. I’m not making that up. He was a magnate of lumber.

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SCHIEFFER: Good evening. And welcome to the third and last presidential debate of 2008, sponsored by the Commission on Presidential Debates. I’m Bob Schieffer of CBS News.

By now, we’ve heard all the talking points, so let’s try to tell the people tonight some things that they haven’t heard.

STEVE: Like how Obama’s a Muslim.

SCHIEFFER: Let’s get to it.

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Mystery Presidential Debate Theater #2

Once again the Mystery Debate Theater team gathered at HQ to perform its somber duty of putting a presidential debate into the proper context through deft analysis, biting wit and high-quality talking back to the TV. Sir Andrew Kingsford arrived with four Heineken talls and a Red Baron pizza (opting for “four kinds of fake cheese instead of the three kinds of fake meat you get on the Supreme”) purchased at 7-11 and Steve Rhodes cracked open a Goose Island Harvest Ale. A steady rain kept Tim Willette at home, contributing via e-mail, along with contributors Julia Gray and Jake Siska. As always, this transcript has been edited for clarity, space, and comedy.

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TIM: So, the first debate was about foreign policy, and the next one covers domestic policy. What’s the subject of the third one? A Siskel and Ebert-style review of the previous two debates?

JULIA: All I know is I wanna sit on Wolf Blitzer’s lap.

STEVE: Let’s watch it on C-SPAN. The feed is purer.

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