Once again, Steve and Tim talk back to the TV.
TIM: “This year’s election is one of the most critical in our history.”
Has any politician ever said otherwise? “Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for some straight talk: this election won’t make any difference. I’m not even voting, and I’m running for president!” Maybe during that string of pre-Lincoln nobodies in the mid-19th C. (Fillmore, Pierce, Buchanan).
STEVE: What’s funny is the election that didn’t figure to be “critical” turned out to be the most critical of all: 2000. Everything today flows from that one.
TIM: [Re: Daschle] “I recently was fortunate to meet with Pres. Hamid Karzai in Afghanistan. He couldn’t pay his staff’s salaries. He couldn’t even pay to keep the lights on. No, he didn’t have much money. He barely had enough to survive. But when he came out on stage and he was ready to play, people came alive.”
TIM: “Chain of Fools:” Inspired choice, but I think I heard the original. “Five” (vs. “for eight long years / I thought you were my man”).
STEVE: I think they thought they were hearing “Change, Change, Change . . . “
TIM: “I’m Bill Clinton, and I am reporting for boo-tay!”
Posted in Fake Pols, Presidential Poop, Punditocracy
Tagged Andy Martin, Barack Obama, Bill Ayers, Bill Clinton, Emil Jones, James Polk, Jeremiah Wright, Joe Biden, John Kerry, John McCain, Mike Gravel, Millard FIllmore, Paris Hilton, Pat Quinn, Richard M. Daley, Richard Nixon, Rod Blagojevich, Tammy Duckworth, Tim Kaine, Tom Daschle, Tony Rezko
From Bob Reed’s interview with Lt. Gov. Pat Quinn:
“Let’s consider this: Obama wins the presidency. The governor has to appoint a new senator. Would he name you? Well, it would be snowing in Hell. If it were up to me, I’d rather the governor appoint himself, and we could get a fresh start in Illinois. I think enough people on the Democrat and the Republican sides would say, ‘Hallelujah.'”
From Ald. Brendan Reilly’s latest e-mail newsletter.
Vote Today and Help Chicago 5th Grader Win National Sports Award
Please join Alderman Reilly, Alderman Sandi Jackson, Congressman Jesse Jackson, Jr. and Lt. Governor Pat Quinn in voting online for 5th-grader Nichyria Byrd for the first-ever Earn Your Stripes Youth Achievement Award as part of the 2008 ESPYs in Los Angeles, California.
“11-year-old Nichyria is a member of the after-school program Girls on the Run at Ariel Community Academy on Chicago’s Southside. She’s the only nominee from the Midwest. The winner will be selected based on online voting through this Sunday, June 15th, which is why your support is so important. Please take a moment to vote online here, and encourage your friends to do the same.
“Nichyria wasn’t nominated because she’s the fastest kid in the country. She was nominated becuase she embodies the spirit of amateur sports: team work, respecting others, doing your best, and competing for the love of the game.”
Alderman Reilly is a proud supporter of Girls on the Run Chicago, which focuses on the spirit of amateur sports and much more through its 12 week after-school program. Their volunteer coaches teach girls ages 8-12 self-esteem, leadership, community service, and healthy lifestyles all while training them to run their first 5K. Girls on the Run Chicago currently serves more than 2,000 young girls in 100 schools throughout the Chicago region. For more information on programs in your school or how you can help, visit www.gotrchicago.org.
“P.S. Nichyria is currently in 1st Place, but she needs your help to cross the finish line. Please take a moment to vote today!”
“Severe weather abruptly shut down the state Legislature on Friday, forcing lawmakers, lobbyists and others into the Statehouse basement as storm sirens wailed and funnel clouds, hail and heavy rain buffeted the capital city,” the Sun-Times reports.
“House Speaker Michael Madigan (D-Chicago), Senate President Emil Jones (D-Chicago), Senate Minority Leader Frank Watson (R-Greenville) and Lt. Gov. Patrick Quinn were among those in the basement, where the mood was mostly ebullient. At one point, a handful of lawmakers could be heard singing ’99 Bottles of Beer’.”
A) The singing came to a standstill after Jones insisted there were only 98 bottles of beer.
B) Quinn proposed ethics legislation banning lawmakers from taking bottles of beer down from the wall.
C) Madigan pissed off everybody by refusing to pass the bottles around.
D) Gov. Rod Blagojevich rode out the storm from a Wrigley Field suite.