Mystery Convention Theater

In which Steve and Tim talk back to the TV.

TIM: They didn’t even bother airing Jimmy Carter’s film about the state of New Orleans on the third anniversary of Katrina. The ex-president in prime time documenting this horror is less newsworthy than Pat Buchanan repeating what he’s been saying every day for weeks?

STEVE: I saw Junior speaking on a couple channels. He’s really good. I wish he were running!

TIM: “In our family he’s known as ‘Uncle Teddy.’And in Emil Jones’s family he’s known as… But I kid!”


TIM: Odd – “Still the One” was Clinton’s (er,”Stanton’s”) campaign theme in Primary Colors.

STEVE: The Bob Seger song or the Shania Twain song?

TIM: C’mon, it’s Orleans! Michael Berube said another of their tunes (“Dance with Me”) is the ultimate paradoxical tune because it’s impossible to dance to!


TIM: I’m programming a macro that types “booooooorrrrrrring” with one keystroke.


TIM: Jim Leach: “It’s become clear in the last decade that something is akilter in our great republic. And that’s why I’m wearing this kilt.”


TIM: McCaskill: “We are not a red state. We are not a blue state.”

Translation: “We’re not a xenophobic reactionary state. We’re not a corporate-enabling center-right state. We’re, like, somewhere in between.”


TIM: McCaskill: “We are one nation! Under God! So I guess you heathen homos oughta pack your bags.”

STEVE: We are one nation, under God. And above Satan. And we believe in change from the bottom up!

TIM: That’s why all of us studied law – because it gets us into everything.


TIM: Kind of a trip to introduce Michelle to that tune: “I was born in Little Rock.”

STEVE: At least they didn’t introduce her at 3 a.m.


TIM: She’s a pro, man.

STEVE: Yeah. That’s why she was so good chasing the poor out of the U of C ER.

TIM: Touche. But there’s no need for the “boooorrrrrring” key with her. But c’mon. Why have so many “professional” politicians tonight sounded like they’re Publishers Clearing House winners? Pelosi may crack the whip in congress, but . . . Zzzzzz.


2 responses to “Mystery Convention Theater

  1. Woof. Such a tough crowd.

  2. You have to be there to appreciate it–trust me, they’re hilarious.

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