Searching for Sarah

Here are the top 10 searches involving the presidential and vice-presidential candidates for the four weeks ending Sept. 27, according to Hitwise.

SARAH PALIN
1. sarah palin
2. sarah palin biography
3. sarah palin pictures
4. sarah palin photos
5. tina fey sarah palin
6. sarah palin bio
7. sarah palin hot photos
8. sarah palin affair
9. sarah palin hot
10. sarah palin interview

My Inbox

Each of these, of course, asked for money.

*

Date: October 30
Time: 1:45 P.M.
From: Joe Biden
Message: “Last night, Barack took to the airwaves to make the case for real change. He used the time to tell the stories of ordinary people who need real solutions to their problems. The presentation reached its finale with Barack addressing the nation live from Florida – I’ve included the video of that moment below. But right now, I need to ask you for help.”

*

Date: October 30
Time: 6:56 P.M.
From: Michelle Obama
Message: “I know this campaign has asked a lot of you. But in the next 5 days, Barack will need you more than ever before.”

*

Date: October 31
Time: 4:08 P.M.
From: Barack Obama
Message: “I want you to be there with me on Election Night when the results come in. We’re planning a big event that will include tens of thousands of supporters in Grant Park in downtown Chicago. We’re saving some of the best seats in the house for 5 people who make their first donation to the campaign before Sunday at midnight.”

Mystery Vice Presidential Debate Theater

It wasn’t exactly one of those cool debate watching parties (ugh), but our Mystery Debate Theater team once again convened via e-mail – due to poor planning and split baseball allegiances – to provide you with the nation’s very best debate commentary this side of David Gergen and Pat Buchanan.

The lineup: stalwarts Tim Willette and Steve Rhodes; rookies Julia Gray and Jake Siska; and a special brief appearance by a pal we inadvertently learned was watching the Cubs game instead.

As always, this transcript has been edited for length, clarity and comedy.

-

STEVE [watching CNN]: Is that a people dial at the bottom of the screen or John McCain’s EKG?

*

GWEN IFILL: The House of Representatives this week passed a bill, a big bailout bill – or didn’t pass it, I should say. The Senate decided to pass it, and the House is wrestling with it still tonight.

As America watches these things happen on Capitol Hill, Senator Biden, was this the worst of Washington or the best of Washington that we saw play out?

BIDEN: I think it’s neither the best or worst of Washington, but it’s evidence of the fact that the economic policies of the last eight years have been the worst economic policies we’ve ever had. As a consequence, you’ve seen what’s happened on Wall Street.

So the Congress has been put – Democrats and Republicans have been put in a very difficult spot. But Barack Obama laid out four basic criteria for any kind of rescue plan here.

STEVE: The first is to use the word “rescue” instead of “bailout.”

Debateball

Sure, we all have a civic duty to watch the debate tonight between Joe Biden and Sarah Palin. How many gaffes will Biden commit? Which Palin bit can we expect to show up on Saturday Night Live this weekend? But those of us living in Chicago have other civic duties as well; namely that both of our baseball teams are in the playoffs. We answer to a higher power.

The White Sox open their series against the Tampa Bay Rays today at 1:30 p.m., but that doesn’t mean watching the debate tonight instead of the Cubs game is a no-brainer. After all, White Sox fans love to watch the Cubs lose, and I’m sure many will tune in for just that reason alone.

The debate is at 8. The Cubs, down a game to the Dodgers, play again tonight at 8:30. With the enigmatic Carlos Zambrano on the mound, Cubs fans won’t want to miss a second because Big Z could spontaneously combust at any moment – or throw a no-hitter.

What to do?

Lies . . . And The Pols Who Tell Them

The Obama campaign and its surrogates are trying to attach the liar label to John McCain and Sarah Palin in much the same way the exaggerator label was (wrongly) tied to Al Gore in 2000. But according to PolitiFact, a fact-checking feature of the St. Petersburg Times and Congressional Quarterly, the Obama campaign has just as much to answer for. At last check:

Obama’s statements by ruling:

* True: 39
* Mostly True: 24
* Half True: 21
* Barely True: 12
* False: 18

Mystery Convention Theater

Once again, Steve and Tim talk back to the TV.

*

TIM: “This year’s election is one of the most critical in our history.”

Has any politician ever said otherwise? “Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for some straight talk: this election won’t make any difference. I’m not even voting, and I’m running for president!” Maybe during that string of pre-Lincoln nobodies in the mid-19th C. (Fillmore, Pierce, Buchanan).

STEVE: What’s funny is the election that didn’t figure to be “critical” turned out to be the most critical of all: 2000. Everything today flows from that one.

*

TIM: [Re: Daschle] “I recently was fortunate to meet with Pres. Hamid Karzai in Afghanistan. He couldn’t pay his staff’s salaries. He couldn’t even pay to keep the lights on. No, he didn’t have much money. He barely had enough to survive. But when he came out on stage and he was ready to play, people came alive.”

*

TIM: “Chain of Fools:” Inspired choice, but I think I heard the original. “Five” (vs. “for eight long years / I thought you were my man”).

STEVE: I think they thought they were hearing “Change, Change, Change . . . “

*

TIM: “I’m Bill Clinton, and I am reporting for boo-tay!”

Biden’s Branding

Something about this just doesn’t look right. It’s like the Microsoft square joining Apple, or State Farm using a caveman or a lizard as its spokesman. It’s incongruous branding.

How the Veepsters Roll

With the Obama campaign keeping us in high suspense today, let’s take a look at the contenders.

1. JOE BIDEN. Joe Biden? I happen to be a Joe Biden fan. He’s super-smart, has a great sense of humor, and knows foreign countries down to the block level. But if you put him on the ticket, you’ll have to spend valuable time and energy cleaning up after him. And truthfully, he creates a stature gap, because he’s bigger than Obama. Also, the idea of him as Secretary of State is a laugh. He’s not what I would call a diplomat. Funny, though, how the pundits who dismissed his presidential run from the get-go have suddenly discovered his virtues.

2. TIM KAINE. Who? He’s in his first term as governor, which gives him more executive experience than Obama but would create a ticket with less total experience than the Bear’s quarterback duo of Kyle Orton and Rex Grossman. Plus, you couldn’t very easily paint John McCain as out-of-touch because he’s not very familiar with the Internet given that Kaine doesn’t know how to sign up for a text message.

3. EVAN BAYH. I predicted Bayh long ago – and have the witnesses to prove it – but truthfully I didn’t know that he not only voted for the Iraq War, but co-sponsored the authorization. I’m not sure how Obama gets past that one.