The hottest meme in the political universe right now is the apparent inability of the media to find a way to have fun at Barack Obama’s expense, but what the media is missing is that when it comes to Obama, the media themselves have long been the target. The Obama Messiah Watch anybody?

Now comes the ever-dependable Onion once again to teach the media a few lessons with “Time Publishes Definitive Obama Puff Piece.”

Remember, it’s funny because it’s true.

Believe me, I would never besmirch the Special Olympics and Anne Burke deserves whatever credit she is due that comes her way, but are we ever going to find out the real story about how she, her alderman-husband and former judge Mary Anne McMorrow engineered her advancement to state supreme court judge?

After all, one story has been told over and over again, while the other has been quickly forgotten - and apparently, inexplicably, forgiven.

One of the most infuriating parts of Dane Placko’s “Clout Kids” series was the laughing Richard Lanyon blaming kids unaware of the summer jobs program at the Water Reclamation District - of which he is superintendent - for not “taking the opportunity” to make the right connections. You know, like being born the son or daughter of an alderman.

Here’s the text of the statement Lanyon issued in advance of the series’ airing.

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July 10,2008

Statement by Richard Lanyon, General Superintendent MWRD

As the General Superintendent of the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District of Chicago I am responsible for the hiring of our 2,000 employees, including our temporary relief summer workers. Every person at the District must complete a well established process of application for employment. Each person is subject to a vigorous background check and physical exam.

The District’s hiring practices are well within every established law, rule and regulation.

Our summer relief program, a long established one, is open to any one who is aware of it. We consider our summer relief worker program a community service for students wanting to consider future employment in fields relevant to District work; some examples are engineering, environmental research, and public policy and business administration.

Due to the distinctly short nature of the employment, it is not in the best interest of the taxpayer for our personnel departmentto be overwhelmed with applicants. Candidates for temporary summer work are from organizations such as Mercy Home for Boys and Girls, civic education, or community organizations.

Over the course of a 119 rotating period calendar year,we generally employ about 230people. They work in jobs suitable for their skills. They are subject to supervisory scrutiny as any employee. Of those 230 people, a very small percentage may be related to current employees or commissioners. In any case, no hirings lead to inferior employees.

In closing I would remind everyone that the main purpose of the District is to protect the environment, and the public’s health. We do this with an elected legislative body of nine Board of Commissioners who are the public face of the District and we do so with the highest integrity.

As I write over at the Beachwood today, we all knew the Cook County Jail was a hellhole, but it’s even worse than we imagined.

Here’s the press release from the U.S. attorney’s office.

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COOK COUNTY JAIL’S INADEQUATE SECURITY, HEALTH CARE AND LIVING CONDITIONS VIOLATE INMATES’ CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS, JUSTICE DEPARTMENT INVESTIGATION FINDS

CHICAGO – The Cook County Jail – the nation’s largest single-site county jail – systematically violates inmates’ federal constitutional rights, according to the findings of a 17-month investigation made public today by the United States Attorney’s Office and the Justice Department’s Civil Rights Division. Key findings of the investigation conclude that the jail has failed to adequately protect inmates from harm and serious risk of harm, including physical harm caused by inappropriate and excessive force used by staff and violence by other inmates; failed to provide adequate medical and mental health care, including suicide prevention; and failed to provide adequate environmental conditions, including fire safety and sanitation, all resulting in unconstitutional living conditions.

The Cook County jail consists of multiple buildings located on 96 acres on Chicago’s West
Side, with a daily population of approximately 9,800 adult male and female inmates, most of whom are awaiting trial in the state criminal court system. In 2006, the jail admitted 99,663 inmates. It is staffed by approximately 3,800 sworn law enforcement officers and civilian employees.

The comprehensive findings were contained in a 98-page letter that was delivered on July
11 to Cook County Board President Todd H. Stroger and Cook County Sheriff Thomas Dart by
Patrick J. Fitzgerald, United States Attorney for the Northern District of Illinois, and Grace Chung Becker, Acting Assistant Attorney General for Civil Rights. The federal investigation, which began in February 2007, was conducted under the Civil Rights of Institutionalized Persons Act, a federal civil rights law that authorizes the Attorney General to investigate and root out systemic abuses of persons confined in adult detention and correctional facilities. The law allows the United States to file a lawsuit to force correction of deficiencies 49 days after the appropriate local officials have been notified of the violations. The county officials were given some time to study the findings as a courtesy before they were made public today.

“The Cook County Jail has an obligation to provide conditions of confinement that do not
offend the Constitution and take reasonable measures to protect inmates from harm,” Mr. Fitzgerald said. “This investigation clearly found that the jail failed that test. We are hopeful that county officials will continue the cooperation they demonstrated during the investigation so that remedies for these serious violations can be brought about.”

The findings letter commends jail staff for providing complete cooperation during the investigation, adding they were receptive to on-site recommendations made during two week-long visits conducted last year from June 18-22 and July 23-27. The letter concludes with 18 pages of specific minimal remedial measures that should be implemented to correct the constitutional shortcomings, which attorneys and expert consultants identified during the site visits and by reviewing documents dating back to January 2006.

Conditions at the jail since 2006 have resulted in serious harm to inmates, the letter states.
Three inmates committed suicide in the first four months of 2008 alone, and the investigation identified multiple preventable inmate deaths and a preventable amputation, due to inadequate medical care. In 2006, separate incidents of unchecked inmate violence resulted in two inmate deaths. In a one-week period in March 2007, the jail documented 35 inmate fights, requiring 27 uses of force, and the confiscation of 46 weapons held by inmates.

“Lack of adequate security staff, insufficient direct supervision …, a dilapidated physical
plant, inadequate policies and procedures, and an overcrowded environment combine to result in an unsecure facility that is dangerous for everyone on the premises,” the letter states.

And despite the existence of court orders, “a myriad of unconstitutional practices remain”
at the jail, the letter adds. The current court orders either do not include specific provisions
governing the deficiencies found or have not resulted in lasting or effective corrective measures.

Inmates are regularly subjected to inappropriate and excessive use of physical force, the
investigation found. Frequent use of force was attributed to: officers too often responding to
inmates’ verbal insults by physically striking them, often with the active assistance of other officers; to inmates’ failures to follow instructions; or as punishment – even when inmates provide no threat to anyone’s safety or to the jail’s security. Even when the initial use of force was reasonable, officers sometimes continued to engage in physical force after inmates were brought under control or were effectively restrained, the investigation found. The letter cites one example in which an inmate was hospitalized and placed on a respiratory ventilator after being beaten by several officers.

Inadequate supervision puts staff as well as inmates at risk, the investigation found. Unsafe
conditions, an increased risk of violence, and an abundance of undetected dangerous and illegal contraband has caused serious injury to inmates. In less than two months in the spring of 2006, inmates reportedly engaged in at least seven separate knife fights that resulted in serious injuries to at least 33 inmates and seven correctional officers, including one inmate death.

According to the letter, inmates were required to ask repeatedly and sometimes futilely for
necessary medical and mental health treatment. One inmate was punished for repeatedly asking to have surgical staples removed from his head and sutures from his arm. Overall, the jail’s incomplete or faulty medical and mental health assessments contribute to constitutionally inadequate care.

The letter notes that all corrections and security functions at the jail are administered by the
Cook County Department of Corrections under the Cook County Sheriff, while health care services are provided by Cermak Health Services of Cook County, a part of the Cook County Bureau of Health. “Although health care and security issues require a degree of separation in all correctional facilities …, the complete division between corrections and health care operations at CCJ results in serious administrative problems, including increased frustration, communication breakdowns and finger-pointing,” the letter states.

In addition, electrical hazards were found throughout the housing areas, and plumbing
deficiencies abound, the investigation found. One tier, designed to house 44 inmates and which was holding 60 during a site visit, had exposed wiring in the dayroom, all three sinks in the toilet area were out of order, and two of the three showers were inoperable. These deficiencies were not unusual: the findings letter states that a review of work orders generated between February and July 2007 showed 2,715 work orders uncompleted, including many that were more than four months old.

Some of the worst conditions were identified in the jail’s intake unit, known as the Receiving, Classification, and Diagnostics Center (RCDC), which was singled out as especially egregious in most every area. “The RCDC is chronically overcrowded, cramped, chaotic and insufficiently staffed,” according to the findings.

“Barack Obama, the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, has left a slot open in his schedule during the first weekend of August for an appearance at the Lollapalooza music festival in his hometown of Chicago, according to multiple sources familiar with the ongoing planning and logistics,” The Daily Swarm reports. (h/t: Jim DeRogatis)

But when this says “delivered by AT&T,” does it mean Lollapalooza or Obama?

“In November 2002, Joseph Gleiter sat at the breakfast counter of Plaza Cafe in Orland Park, eyeing Rod Blagojevich as he made his way through the crowd,” Kristen McQueary writes.

“Just days before the election that would crown him governor, Blagojevich stopped in the southwest suburbs to shake hands at a local hangout. Gleiter had one question for him:

“‘I’d like to know what you’re going to do about these facilities,’ he said, referring to the group home in which his mentally disabled son lives. ‘If you make cuts, these people are going to end up in state facilities.’

“Gleiter wagged his finger at an antsy Blagojevich who - naturally - was hours behind schedule that day.

“‘It’s a matter of setting priorities,’ the soon-to-be governor assured Gleiter before his handlers steered him toward another table.

“Priorities. Right.

“What were they again?”

Go read the rest of it to find out.

The Sun-Times cast a goofy-looking governor as John Wayne to illustrate its story about Rod Blagojevich’s offer to send the state police - and possibly the National Guard - to Chicago to help out the apparently hapless Mayor Daley. As noted the headline to this post, I think the Sun-Times missed a comedic opportunity.

Meanwhile, City Hall is pissed.

“We’re a little puzzled about how it would work,” mayoral spokesmonster Jackie Heard said.

Who isn’t? What a logistical nightmare.

“Daley administration officials also noted with some cynicism that Blagojevich had yet to respond to efforts by City Hall earlier this year to seek youth job and recreational programs to help prevent an onslaught of summer violence.”

It’s also classic Blagojevich grandstanding. “It is, at the very least, a little disconcerting that we’re only hearing about this as the media does,” Heard said.

Fortunately, classic Blagojevich grandstanding includes the fact that he never follows through with his grand pronouncements, so let’s declare this dead-on-arrival and move on.

The Transit Riders’ Alliance issued another “Action Alert” today urging its supporters to contact their state legislators and express their, um, displeasure at the governor and his budget cuts.

“Despite the urgent need to expand transit, Governor Blagojevich line-item vetoed funding for reduced student and ADA fares and the seniors-ride-free program he created in January. (The agencies still have to provide the reduced and free rides, so these cuts will impact the overall operating budget. Amtrak funding did not get cut.)

“The House is scheduled to meet again this week to deal with the line-item vetoes, but the Senate is unlikely to meet before November.

“Please click here to tell your senator and representative to expand transit, not cut it. We need to expand transit now.”

Previously, the alliance sent out this alert:

“On Tuesday, Governor Blagojevich shockingly threatened to eliminate two programs that matter to transit riders across Illinois. One program in danger helps fund free rides for seniors and reduced fares for students and people with disabilities-it would be completely eliminated.

“The other elimination is the Amtrak Illinois program, which funds service between 28 cities and towns across the state. This program was doubled in 2006 and has far surpassed all expectations. Trains are frequently sold out.

“The Governor’s outline of the threatened cuts states that since 2007 Amtrak Illinois ridership has increased ‘from 42% to 67%, depending upon the line.’ To understand how small the existing program is, consider that IDOT recently received a special appropriation for road kill cleanup that was roughly twice the annual Amtrak appropriation. As it stands, these intercity services need to grow. It is outrageous that the Governor is threatening to cut them.

“The threatened cuts are part of a bigger fight over the budget.It is hard to believe that the governor would cut transit funding and eliminate Amtrak Illinois services as gas prices march towards $5.00/gal, but it’s what’s on the table right now!

Click here to tell Governor Blagojevich that transit should not be on the chopping block and that we should be expanding our transit network and services across Illinois.”

“They’re good-paying summer jobs. Hundreds of jobs for teens and college kids that pay $13 and hour. But unless you have Chicago-style clout, chances are your kid won’t get one,” Dane Placko reports in the first part of his latest excellent investigation.

“A Fox News Chicago investigation into seasonal employment at the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District of Greater Chicago found that many of their summer jobs are going to children of politicians, city and county officials and full-time employees of the District.”

My favorite part - aside from watching slimy weasels like aldermen Patrick Levar and Ike Carothers run scurry away from Placko during questioning - comes at the end when District Superintendent Richard Lanyon explains that A) it’s everyone else’s fault for not “taking the opportunity” to make the proper connections that would help them get these jobs and B) it’s too much of a hassle to go through a lot of applications anyway.

The investigation continues tonight with a look at the MWRD commissioners and employers who are giving their kids jobs.

“[The governor] cut more than $240,000 for the Downstate Illinois Innocence Project at the University of Illinois, Springfield, and $800,000 to address the state’s DNA testing backlog. Another $1 million to offset the cost of videotaping police interrogations was cut,” Kristen McQueary reported on Sunday.

I thought of this while reading these stories today:

* “Olympic Bid Raises $12 Mil, $37 Mil To Go.”
* “Mich. Ave Riverwalk To Cost City $8.1 Mil.“

I realize the funding sources for all of these things are different, but doesn’t it say something nonetheless about our priorities?