The Education of Ebert

Did you know that John McCain refused to look Barack Obama in the eye during Friday night’s debate? According to Roger Ebert today, everybody knows that. Ebert builds a column today around that “fact” as well as a rumination about McCain’s body language and concludes that McCain was being rude and he is offended. “Obama is my guy,” Ebert writes. “And if you are rude to him, you are rude to me.”

Let’s set aside for now the fact that Ebert has no problem being rude to McCain and, even more so, to Sarah Palin, to whom he was also sexist and condescending. No, let’s just stick with the facts about McCain’s eyes.

As Bob Somerby – an Obama supporter who nonetheless has a brain and can’t stand the false narratives of the American political system – shows at his invaluable Daily Howler, nobody seemed to notice McCain’s problems looking Obama in the eye until Obama string-puller David Axelrod mentioned it in the post-debate spin room.

Somerby goes on to show how the post-debate punditry was oblivious to the alleged problem with McCain’s body language in their immediate reports but after a day of reading each other and letting the spin memes set in, suddenly discovered how horrid it was. (His arms looked mighty stiff at the lectern! I bet he can’t even use a computer!)

Of course, this is patently silly from the get-go. Does anyone really believe John McCain is afraid or unwilling to look Barack Obama in the eye?

Dear Roger: You are still one of the best of the best when it comes to movies, but your political analysis isn’t even worthy of straight-to-video.

South Side Bailout Blues

Democratic talking heads – as well as party leaders such as John Kerry – were all over television on Tuesday pointing to the failed bailout vote in the House as evidence that John McCain didn’t even have enough clout within his own ranks to deliver on legislation, much less the ability to lead a nation.

I’m not sure Dems will want to go down that road, because by that measure, Barack Obama wasn’t even able to deliver his own state.

Four of 11 House Democrats from Illinois voted against the bill – including fellow South Siders Jesse Jackson Jr. and Bobby Rush.

Jackson, in fact, is a close friend of Obama’s and a national campaign co-chairman. Yet he was one of the more forceful speakers against the bill.

“This bill is simply a band aid not a cure for the financial crisis, and it does little for the hard-working Americans who will pay for it,” Jackson said in a statement. “It does not go far enough in addressing the systemic and terminal problems of our financial system. It further privatizes profits and socializes the losses.”

Rush, who supports Obama but clearly still has a distaste for the man who not only once challenged him for his House seat but whom he saw as a snooty opportunist in the state senate, said in a statement that the bailout bill was “a $700 billion financial earmark for Wall Street.”

Here’s the entire roll call.

Barack Bits

1. “Barack Obama wore a flag lapel pin during the first debate and John McCain did not, for those who monitor patriotic accessorizing,” Zay Smith notes in his Sun-Times Quick Takes column today.

Maybe both candidates were trolling for crossover votes.

2. “Forty-six percent of American voters are still unable to correctly identify Barack Obama as a Christian,” Smith also writes.

Yeah, but that’s a higher percentage of Republicans who identify John McCain as a Christian.

3. “The people of Cook County need a state’s attorney who is ready to run the office now, not someone ready to learn on the job,” the Sun-Times writes today in its endorsement of Anita Alvarez for Cook County State’s Attorney.

Experience will be much less important when the paper endorses Barack Obama for president – just as it was when the paper endorsed Obama over Hillary Clinton in the Democratic primary.

Cruise Control

New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd suggested on Sunday that Barack Obama blew his chance to play Tom Cruise to John McCain’s Jack Nicholson ala A Few Good Men during Friday’s debate, but Division Street contributor Tim Willette suggests a better analogy lies in
another Cruise movie, Top Gun, featuring the bold, risky, dangerous and instinctive Maverick squaring off against the cool, cerebral, by-the-book rules-follower Iceman.

I mean, didn’t the debate go something like this?

Obama: You two really are cowboys.

McCain: What’s your problem, Barack?

Obama: You’re everyone’s problem. You’re unsafe. I don’t like
you because you’re dangerous.

McCain: That’s right, Barack! I am dangerous.

Mystery Debate Theater: Presidential Edition #1

The Mystery Debate Theater team of Andrew Kingsford, Tim Willette and Steve Rhodes was scattered to the winds on Friday night, but we caught up with the video highlights and the transcript over the weekend to produce what we’re sure is the most vital debate commentary the world over . This transcript has been edited for length, clarity and comedy.

*

TIM: Maybe we should combine the debates with late-night TV commercials. “Sen. Obama, are you up all night with unpaid bills and debt?”

*

LEHRER: Let me begin with something General Eisenhower said in his 1952 presidential campaign.

STEVE: Adlai Stevenson is a pinhead?

TIM: My first act as president will be to rename Hi-Catoctin after my grandson.

LEHRER: Quote, “We must achieve both security and solvency. In fact, the foundation of military strength is economic strength,” end quote.

STEVE: So I take back what I said about the military-industrial complex!

TIM: Ah, backwards – military-industrial complex was from Ike’s farewell address. He learned a lot in eight years.

STEVE: So let’s build up what I’d like to call a military-industrial complex!

LEHRER: Gentlemen, at this very moment tonight, where do you stand on the financial recovery plan?

OBAMA: I’ve put forward a series of proposals that make sure that we protect taxpayers as we engage in this important rescue effort.

STEVE: None of which I’ll explain here tonight.

LEHRER: Senator McCain, two minutes.

STEVE: Or three pages, whichever explains your plan first.

Programming Note

Beginning today, Division Street will focus exclusively on national politics and the presidential campaign through the election. You can continue to track local political follies at The Beachwood Reporter.

Blago Nixes CTA

“Gov. Blagojevich, who has criticized the CTA for mismanaging its budget, has appointed former Deputy Gov. Sheila Nix to the transit agency’s board,” the Sun-Times reports. “She had helped to create the Seniors Ride Free Program, which was added on to the RTA bailout bill in January. The CTA expects to lose $26 million in 2009 from giving free rides to seniors, and may raise fares next year.”

A) So Nix is already experienced in CTA mismanagement

B) Nix denied she was appointed by Public Official A.

C) Nix said she would fight against the CTA being used as a patronage dumping ground where politicians are given posts as rewards for lying through their teeth to defend their bosses against an intrusive public.

It Takes an Olympic Village

With the mayor’s Olympic Village plans in limbo, we here at Division Street Labs have learned of alternate sites being considered by the Chicago 2016 committee.

* Welcome back, Cabrini-Green!

* That giant ferris wheel planned for Navy Pier fits at least two to a car.

* Sending the Sox on a long road trip while Olympians camp out at The Cell.

* O’Hare’s concourses are already equipped to house long-term visitors.

* The Brown Line is converted to sleeper cars.

* Local pols say Oxford, Wisconsin has acceptable facilities.

Campaign Suspense

“McCain Suspending Campaign, Wants Debate Delayed.”

Says he and Obama should go to Washington to help solve the nation’s fiscal crisis.

Good idea – it just doesn’t go far enough. Let’s have them suspend the rest of the entire campaign, go back to Washington to do their jobs, and let us vote in November in peace.

For Treasury Secretary

Maybe we should put this guy in charge – he seems to know where all the government’s money is.